Look out, WTO-Kreuser's coming

So $1100-odd later, I've bought the tickets. Kathreen and I will be in Geneva from March 13-20 visiting Mr. Andrew Eppig, who has promised to show us the sounds, sights and wonders of Geneva, which has some sort of deal with all media agencies that it will be referred to as an "international city". I'm just assuming that last part because whenever I look for info on it that's invariably what comes up.

Anyway, I'm super psyched, as I haven't been out of the country since going to Japan to see my sister in May of '03, and I haven't been out of MN (other than Wisconsin, and that doesn't count) since my annual Potlach/visit Hanberg trip last July.

The best at what he does

You know, with taking a bullet at the end of last season and his plucky trek across the island with the tailies to get back to the camp, I had started to think that maybe Sawyer had lost his edge. Without his "stash" to create conflict over, there just weren't as many clashes between him and people. And with the introduction of queen Bitch Ana-Lucia and the huge, badass Mr. Eko, I kind of thought Sawyer might be getting kicked off the A team. I thought he'd gone soft, getting chummy with Jin and Michael on the way back.

No longer. Holy Shit, that was probably the best written episode of Lost all season. Kathreen and I sat and watched and tried to figure out the con while it was going on-not that it helped any. I think the only time we got ahead of the curve was in figuring out the accomplice. For those of you who aren't watching Lost...start. Right now. Pay whatever money you need to get caught up, because this is the best show on tv. Period. Now the new Sheriff has all the guns, and as he says himself "I'm not a good guy."

Are you sure that was the Seahawks?

My sympathies to all the Seahawk fans out there on losing the Super Bowl. It was odd because it looked like the 'Hawks were channeling the Vikings of the last several years (not this last one, because they sucked). First, they got screwed by the refs. I'm sorry, Roethlisberger did not get the football into the endzone on that dive. His head, yes. The football, no (well, after he had been down for 30 seconds). Also, that was the cheapest offensive pass interference call I've seen since Moss was in town. I know the receiver put his hand on the guy and made it look like a push off, but the amount of force was clearly so negligable that the defender didn't even rock backwards on his feet. Since Roethlisberger's run was on 3rd down, we can call this an 11 point swing (+7 to Seattle for the touchdown, and -4 to Pittsburgh for kicking a field goal instead of getting into the endzone). That ties the game and sends it into overtime, where the championship gets to be decided by a coin toss (yippee!). But it would have at least been exciting.

However, you can't blame it all on the refs. Like the Vikes, the Seahawks compounded the officiating mistakes by making two boneheaded decisions. First, Holmgren's decision not to go for the 4th & inches in the second quater. I know he was on his own 25 or whatever, but it's the biggest game of the year and he should have known his defense couldn't hold Pittsburgh back forever (up until that point they had done a fantastic job). Madden & Michales said Holmgren couldn't risk giving the ball up so close to the goal, that it would swing momentum. But then the Steelers took the ball and drove in for their non-touchdown touchdown. I'm sorry, but 4 & inches (especially the short inches that it was) should be a no-brainer in the NFL, wherever you are on the field. The other boneheadedness came out during the 'Hawks 2-minute drill, when they wasted a ridiculous amount of time trying to get one play off. Hasselbeck audibled through I think the entire playbook, and Holmgren appearently kept calling in new plays. It was a moment worthy of Denny Green, who is widely acknowledged as the worst clock manager on the planet.

So it was half the refs fault and half Seattle's fault. I have to put the Steelers as a distant third in terms of factors that decided the game.

V for Vendetta

So a couple weeks ago I found myself in Borders with a $25 gift card looking for something to buy. The new Get Fuzzy book wasn't out yet, and not only did they have a horrible selection of P.G. Wodehouse novels, but they put them in the "humor writing" sextion next to the "How to Survive a Zombie Attack" books. What the hell is wrong with people? Wodehouse was probably the best comic novelist and one of the great writers of the 20th century. His books do not belong on the same shelf as a book about surviving zombie attacks (not that I have anything against those books, but come on, people!).

But I digress.

Not having found anything that really inspired me, I picked up Alan Moore's V for Vendetta, mostly because I excited about the movie and thought it would be good to read the original text before seeing the adaptation. It hadn't been high on my list of graphic novels I wanted to pick up, but like I said, there was a derth of other choices.

Now, I've heard some excellent things about the movie, particularily that it's true to the source material. I also heard the same thing last year about Sin City, which turned out to be a fantastic movie (brutal, yes, but fantastic). I'm hoping that V for Vendetta turns out similarly: the graphic novel is excellent. Well paced, nuanced, and articulate. It's not quite as sophisticated or inventive as Watchmen, Moore's opus, but his talents are on full display. Although Moore wrote this in a very different political climate (in the 80s, toward end of the cold war), the ideas it raises about freedom and governments should resonate strongly with people in the current climate. If the movie kicks even close to as much ass as the graphic novel, it's going to be a much bigger hit than people are expecting.

The movie comes out March 17th. I'll be there opening night.

Worst Month Ever?

Whenever a winter thaw rolls around, I always get pissed at weathermen who take the stance that warm weather is good and cold weather is bad. No one ever says this, but it's implicit in the way most forecasters speak. Now, I like summer as much as anyone. I like nice, warm sunny days that you can hang out and enjoy. But once it hits Halloween (the anniversary of the famous 1991 blizzard), then it's winter, damnit. There's a line from a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin says "If I was in charge, we'd never see grass between October and May." I'd maybe shorten it to April, but I'm right there with him. Winters should be snowy and cold all the way through. No wishy-washy "oh, it's cold now," and then "ok, now it'll be 40 degrees out" crap.

That's why this January has been so damn horrible. Not only has it been warm, it's been the warmest January since 1846. That's 160 years, and even that's not certain, since it's based on unofficial temperature data that was kept at Fort Snelling. And it hasn't just been warm for January. In terms of degrees above average, this is the warmest month (I think) ever. Totally ridiculous. It's snowed, then melted. Then rained. Then snowed again. Then melted. You get the idea. The total opposite of what winter is supposed to be. And all I've heard all month is forecasters telling me the long term projections show no change in the weather patterns. I want my Alberta Clipper, goddamn it! I want it to snow 3 feet, then deep freeze to 20 below for a week and a half, then get back up to 25 so it can snow again. Stupid weather.

At least January is over now. Tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of the coldest temp ever recorded in MN: -60 in Tower. I remeber that day very clearly, and it was awesome (all the schools in the state were closed by the governor). So maybe the gods of winter will take pity on us and use this anniversary to start getting things back to the way they should be around here. Say, I think I just read a report that said some long-term forecasts were seeing temps drop sometime next week...

Oscar Noms

Bloggin' from work today. Oh yeah.

After King Kong was pretty much shut out of the pre-Oscar awards, I knew it wasn't really going to be a player, but I'm still disappointed it didn't even get any major nominations. It did suffer from what I think is a pretty strong field (and I haven't seen Brokeback or Capote yet, who seem to be the two biggest winners in terms of noms), particularily in films of the type that tend to win awards. But I still would have liked to at least see it get a nod, especially for PJ as best director.

Also, did anyone else notice that none of the best picture nominees have a corresponding best actress nomination?

If I have a crappy network, and you have a crappy network...

Then together we can have one, big crappy network! That seems to be the reasoning behind the merger of UPN and the WB networks that was announced today. They're going to combine and become one network called "CW". I predict this name will last as long as it takes for everyone on the planet to tell whoever is running this damn thing that the name sucks ass.

I'm being uncharitable, of course. No, not about the name, but about the networks. It's true in the larger extent, but each network has its bright spots: the WB has Smallville, and UPN has the rights to a new Star Trek series. Put those two together, and you've got a winner, right?

If this happened last season, I'd be worried about Smallville being cancelled. But it's kicking so much ass this season that I highly doubt "CW" will pull it. In fact, it might be the most popular show either network has, and if it's not, it's in the top three. So I'm guessing Smallville is in no danger.

I am serious about the rights to Star Trek, though. If I'm putting a new network on the air, I think an announcement about a new Trek series might generate some interest. It may not happen in its first year (fall 2006), but I can't imagine that even the blind lemurs they get to run these networks will keep something with Trek's track record in the drawer for too long. I guess we'll find out.

Working at 6:30 in the morning...

...sucks ass. Hello, ass! Joe needs a nap.

Ms. Howard, avoid bridges at all costs

Anyone who knows me will find it easy to believe that Unbreakable is one of my favorite movies from the past five (I guess six now, damn freaking new year) years. I was amazed that a Hollywood studio exec would let anyone make such an excellently paced superhero movie that had almost no superheroics in it at all. I've been a fan of M. Night Shyamalan since then. I had been semi-impressed with The Sixth Sense (I saw it after it had been hyped to the ceiling, which might explain my more subdued response), and I really liked what he did with Signs. I also enjoyed his most recent movie, The Village, quite a bit. I felt it was not as strong as Unbreakable or Signs, mostly because the plot twist was more transperant. However, the story is compelling and well told, and the visuals are extremely good as well. With a cast that included powerhouses Adrian Brody, Walking Phoenix, William Hurt and Sigourney Weaver, one of the most notable performances was from Opie's daughter, Bryce Dallas Howard. The performance was good enough to earn her the role Nicole Kidman gave up in Lars Von Trier's sequel to Dogville, Manderlay.

But AICN has just announced that BDH has been cast in her greatest role to date, as Gwen Stacey in Spider-Man 3. In the comics, Gwen Stacey is the sweet and beautiful Girl Next Door that Peter Parker wanted all his life but had significant trouble getting. In other words, the character that Mary Jane became in the movie. In the comics, Mary Jane Watson shows up later when Peter's Aunt May tries to set him up with her friend's niece. MJ is movie-star gorgeous, with a wild party personality. She flirts with Pete who still wants Gwen, but then the Green Goblin throws her off the George Washington Bridge. When Spider-Man catches her by her ankle with his webbing, her head snaps back and breaks her neck and she dies (sound like a tragic version of the ending of the first movie?). Pete of course ends up with MJ, but Gwen's death is an influence on him that's eclipsed only by the memory of his Uncle Ben. It'll be very interesting to see what they do in the movie. I'm very excited to find out.

It's also ironic that they cast Kirsten Dunst, a blond, as the redheaded MJ, and BDH, a redhead, as the blond Gwen Stacey.

Who wants to kick Zeke's Ass?

I think I speak for everyone who saw Lost tonight when I say that I really wanted to see Jack, Locke or Sawyer shoot the bastard (I do love the fact that he will forever be refered to by Sawyer's nickname for him). It wouldn't have been the best idea, and probably would have ended very badly. But I would have loved to see the look on his face. On a side note, he very neatly sidestepped the Ethan question.

Also, in regards to the final line of the episode, why would Jack be talking to Ana-Lucia about this? Why not go talk to Sayid, who was actually in the army?

A question for anyone who may know: did we know before this episode that Jack was divorced vs. being a widower?

Sleepless in North Minneapolis

This is a little late, but big congratulations are in order for my friend Dustin and his wife, Angelique, who gave birth last Monday (the 9th) to their daughter Kara. She was born at 10:41am and weighed 8 lbs. 3oz., which, I was informed, is more than I weighed when I was born. There were no major complications, and both mother and daughter are fine. I went to visit the family in the hospital the next day, and was glad to find that Kara is indeed as cute and Dustin told me she was. It was a long couple of days for the new parents, as I found out when Dustin called to tell me the news at 6pm on Monday. I wondered why he sounded happy but not energized. I found out that neither of them had been asleep when Angelique went into labor at midnight, and he had subsequently been awake since Sunday morning. They actually got some sleep Monday night, so when I saw them on Tuesday they were both looking pretty good.

Dustin has already thrown himself into his new role of doting father. When I arrived at the hospital, Dustin was out with Kara while she was weighed, and Angelique informed me that earlier in the day Dustin had taken somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 pictures of Kara in the same position. He claimed that the lighting conditions and facial expressions were changing by the second, thus necessitating the large number of pictures. I don't think he had maxed out the memory card on his digital camera yet, but I'm sure that by now he's done so several times over.

So a big welcome to Kara Grace Allebach, who is now on her 9th day in the world. And congrats again to Dustin and Angelique, who seem to be coping with their new parenthood very well, albeit with perhaps less sleep than they're used to.

No rest for the weary

Some of you may remember a post I made recently where I mentioned I had been up far too late playing X-men Legends 2. Well, since that time I can say that I have remembered why I stopped playing computer games sometime between my junior and senior years of college. It's because I tend to let them take over my life a little too much. I think I'm up to 26 hours or so on XML2 now, and it's caused me to get much less sleep than normal over the last week and a half. This is not good. Hopefully I'll beat the damn game soon so I can get some sleep.

Lost in Lost

So tonight was Lost's first new episode since November. And for those of you who don't watch this show, I say to you now that you are fools. Fortunately for you, you can buy the first season on dvd and download all the 2nd season episodes so far off itunes, as my esteemed colleague Mr. Hanberg did. I'm already putting this episode in my top three for the season so far, and the trailer for next week was massively teasing. But for the love of god, don't try to jump into the middle. This is a show that builds on itself as you watch, and its so fricking good that you actually won't mind spending something like $60-$70 to catch up.

Also, there was a "review" episode on before the new episode, so people who haven't watched the show can get a general sense of what's going on. I saw some of it, and it featured worst example of a deep voice-over I have ever heard. It wasn't that the voice was bad, it's just that aside from being totally unnecessary, the writing was horrific. Whoever came up with that idea and wrote the dialogue should be fired so they can move to Wisconsin to work in the dairy industry, because they obviously feel there isn't enough cheese in the world.

Anyway, and excellent episode of a great show. I can't wait for next week.

Joe, why is there a huge gap between the title and the text?

And the answer is, I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out, but I haven't had a lot of time recently. Hopefully, the problem will simply go away on its own, because if I have to start really trying to fix it, I may accidentally destroy the internet.

It's not quite like Flubber, but it's close

So tonight was my first night playing broomball with actual broomball shoes. I've played with a Carleton alumni team here in the cities over the past couple years, but I didn't feel like the cost (usually $60-$80, mine were $60) was worth it, even though most other people on the ice had them. I also felt like I wasn't as good in relation to other people as I was a Carleton, but I figured that was more of an experience factor than an equipment factor. But then I put on these shoes.

Man, I was impressed. I wondered before if it would take me awhile to adjust to them, and it didn't. Aside from my ankle that I sprained last fall feeling a little weird (it was essentially sitting on top of a layer of cushiony rubber/foam, so there was a lot of side-to-side play that it hadn't experienced in a long time), I was off and running. It was great. My speed relative to the other people on the ice went way up, as did my response time. I'm looking forward to playing a whole season with these things (not to mention a real game, since our opponents didn't show and we just scrimmaged). Kreuser's back, baby.

The Future is Funky

Hey everyone. I'm on my way to bed, but before I go I thought I'd link this. I found this a long time ago, and have been meaning to post it, so here it is. Possibly the most ridiculous trailer in terms of what it's trying to market I've ever seen. But as I've watched it many times over a long period, I've decided that I really, really like it. If you've ever seen the original Star Trek, or have a sense of what the episodes were like, this will have you roaring. My favorite part is at the end, with the "friendly locals."

30th Century Fox Resumes?

No posts for awhile because of that crazy friend of mine Erik Hanberg has been in town, but I thought I'd throw this up quick. It's just a rumor, but ever since Family Guy came back on the air, I've been hoping this would happen.

Big as the Swing of Tiger Woods

For those of you not familiar with Dan Bern's song "Tiger Woods," it starts with the line "I got big balls". He then goes on to compare his balls with objects you wouldn't want to carry around between your legs.

Now, go read this article. This kid has probably got to carry around a wheelbarrow to hold up his pair. Wow.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/12/29/teen.iraq.ap.ap/index.html

How Long?

First post in a while, I know. But with inspiration from my friend Mr. Hanberg to write shorter, more reasonable posts instead of posts that register just this side of Homer in terms of line count, hopefully I can get back in the habit of more regular updates.

This is the first time I've posted from work, and I have exactly 6 minutes until my break ends, so here we go.

I got a kick ass new computer for X-mas (much thanks to Java for helping my parents select one that I wouldn't groan at). With this new machine capable of playing games made in the last 5 years, I also received X-Men Legends 2 (thanks again to Java). After playing the first short segment with the keyboard controls, I stopped playing until I could go to Best Buy and get a standard game controller, because without it I was bad. Anyway, I get the controller yesterday, and proceed to kill somewhere in the neighborhood of 5-6 hours last night playing it. Got to bed around 3, so I'm looking forward to my nap when I get off work today.

Time's up. Later (although hopefully not too much later).

Hand me the Raprod, Plate Captain

A lot has happened in the last couple weeks. A week ago last Friday I finally got a job. It's not the most perfect job ever, but it pays me in real money, the kind that can be traded for goods and services. So after my first week at a new job, my very good friend the Math Avenger comes to town for some Carleton Alumni-take-over-the-world crazy scheme meeting. We hang out, go bowling, I beat Java at air hockey (those of you familiar with this epic struggle will appreciate just how much I enjoyed that, although I don't think Java's heart was really in it-he wanted to be drinking), and we got to watch CUT kick the pants off Madison in the final of the Central Regional Tournament (and then watch the first few points of Syzygy taking it to Iowa). But this weekend was all about Hitchhiking.

I forget when I first read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books-it was probably junior high, althoug it might have been very early high school. They remain among my favorite books, and after reading just about all of Douglas Adams' published works, I can safely say he was one of the most gifted humorists of his generation, and deserves to mentioned in the same breath as P.G. Wodehouse, one of his greatest influences. This means, of course, that any movie adaptation faces the staggering problem of placating the existing base of rabid fans, making a movie that's accessible to the general populous, and staying as true as possible to the source material. The process was helped by the fact that Douglas had been working on turning THHGTTG into a movie for over a decade, and finished a strong draft before he died. More than that, however, the form of the Hitchhiker's story has changed every time it changed mediums. Remember, it began not as a novel but as a BBC radio show. It then made the transition to the stage in the form of three separate productions that took place (I'm 90% sure) before the book came out. Then there was the BBC tv show, and finally after probably about 20 years of trying, a movie. For most people, I think, the book is the gold standard: the "real" story, and for good reason. In my opinion (and isn't that why you're all here?), Douglas' writing has two main strengths: first, he can create situations that are so outrageous that you never would have thought of them yourself, and yet at the same time they seem like the most obvious and hilarious things in the world (or galaxy, rather). Second, his descriptions of familiar concepts and events (like Space, for example) are written in such deft turns of phrase that the reader is caught off guard and bursts out laughing. Douglas is able (in a very different way on a very, very different stage) to do what Wordsworth and Coleridge did in Lyrical Ballads: he shows the familiar in the fantastic and the fantastic in the familiar.

So how does all this translate in the movie? Well, there is of course the loss of some of the atmosphere of the book, since the first two novels don't really have a plot cohesive enough to stand up to a movie. But aside from a bit of disneyfication, a surprising amount of the irreverence has survived. Different things happen than in the book, and the characters are a little different, but like I just said, Hitchhiker's changes whenever it changes mediums. I really like the face-slappy-things on Vogsphere (and no, I don't have a better name for them), I like the direction they went with the Vogons as the ultimate bureaucrats, and I love the Guide voice overs. And really, any serious doubts I had about the movie were erased in the first five minutes, because when the filmmakers turn the dolphins' farewell into a song as fantastic as that one, you know the movie can't possibly have that many problems. I have no idea if Douglas actually wrote the song, but I was struck with the definate impression that he would have been spectacularly happy with at least that one part.