So the election is tomorrow, and I'm nervous. "Why are you nervous, Joe?" you might ask with good reason. The Dems, at this point, are looking to be by far the less stupid of the two parties, and seem poised to take control of the Hill. It would be a massive upset if they didn't take at least one of the Houses of Congress.
Let's see. What's happened in the national elections since I turned 18?
In 1998, Minnesotans elect a professional wrassler governor. Jesse Ventura makes up 10+ points overnight, providing an excellent argument for Congress' subsequent bill which sought to institutionalize the state.
In 2000, Cuba offers to send election officials to Florida, the President is elected by the Supreme court, and the term "hanging chad" dominates the national dialogue for months.
In 2002, everyone is so freaked out that all politicians need to do point and yell "Terrorists!" and no one pays attention to what they're actually doing. Paul Wellstone dies less than a month before the election, and certain victory for his replacement (Walter Mondale), turns into crushing defeat after everyone goes Howard-Dean-insane at the memorial service. Minnesota elects Bush clones Pawlenty and Coleman as Governor and Senator, respectively.
In 2004, we find out that all this country REALLY has to fear is a president that windsurfs.
And that brings us to now. 2006. Water is banned on airplanes. The only thing we know for certain about Iraq is that whatever it is we're doing is working out so great. Inspired by the success of Girls Gone Wild, Congress has decided to put out a monthly scandal, which they keep sending out even after we've told them we don't want them. And the Dems might actually be getting back into a position where they can build up some street cred.
Yeah. I'm nervous. Big time.
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