Saturday, September 09, 2006

Never mess with Tony Jaa's Elephants

And I mean never. He will break your arm in 8 places, then kick you in the head as you're flying away in a helicopter. Anyway, go see The Protector if you're in the mood to watch the current king of movie martial arts. You won't need to worry about the plot, because I'll give it away right now: Tony Jaa and his dad raise elephants. Bad men steal the elephants, kill Tony's dad and take the elephants to Sydney, where all evil asian people in movies if they want to talk to white people. Tony Jaa follows them, then kicks everyone's ass. There you go.

There's one scene where I'm pretty sure they just asked Jaa how many different ways he could take someone down while doing (or appearing to do) significant damage to their arms or legs. Then they told about 84 stunt guys to run at him one at a time. Then they added sound effects. Crunch.

Seriously, it's fricking awesome. It gets the official Joe seal of approval.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Speaking of trailers

A while ago I posted a poster for a movie I knew nothing about, but was excited to see because the poster kicked ass (being drawn by Mike Mignola of Hellboy fame). Now the trailer for the movie, Pan's Labyrinth, is online. And it's kinda creepy. I still don't know anything about the movie (and yes, that's willful-I know I could find info if I went looking), but I'm still psyched to see it. Take a look.

Do do, da do da do

New Bond trailer up online. I don't have a problem with the whole "blond Bond" thing like some people seem to. I don't really think Daniel Craig is all that blond, anyway.

Flick looks good. I'll reserve judgement until I've seen the entire movie, though.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

My apartment is a secret CIA prison

It's true. The CIA has been holding some dude here for the past four months. And the screams at night and the smell of burning human hair is starting to really get to me.

I'm sorry, but is there some reason that Bush couldn't say this back in, oh, November, when this story actually broke in the press? Oh wait, he needed 10 months to clear everyone out of those secret prisons and get them to Guantanamo. And clear up that damn evidence of torture. No, I don't have any proof for that last statement. But let's see here. If your administration has gone from disregarding the Geneva Convention to calling it "vague", your Secretary of Defense created an environment that allowed the Abu Gharib stuff to not only happen, but for many, many pictures to be taken, and your term for your interrogation techniques is "alternative", I'm thinking you are to torture what Barry Bonds' overripe cantaloupe of a head is to steroids.

I am not under some sort of strange delusion where I think we're keeping fluffy bunny rabbits in these places. Many of these are seriously disturbed people whose outlet for their problems seems to be focused rage at the West (neither do I believe that everyone at Guantanamo is a terrorist, but that's not really germane to the issue). They need to be held accountable for their actions (or intended actions). But we need to be better than these people. We need to make the system transparent enough that whoever's in charge can't just lock people away indefinitely. These people need to see and hear the evidence against them, and have a chance to respond. I'm not saying take 12 morons off the street, but get an objective panel that knows what's going on and can make an intelligent, informed and well-reasoned opinion. We don't get to torture them. They've decided that our lives mean less than theirs. We cannot feel the same way. Check that. We can feel that way all we want, but we cannot act that way. We need to be better than them, because we've got the bigger guns, tanks, planes and nuclear bombs, and if we're not better than them, then everyone on this planet is in a lot of trouble.