Sunday, January 23, 2005

Assault on Precinct 13 Review/Joe's Movie Lessons 101

So what differenciates this movie, which was pretty decent, from a crappy action movie, such as, say, Catwoman? I had the occasion to view the latter film last night at the abode of one Java Fortran. He had purchased the dvd earlier that day, which I wasn't really all that surprized at, since he had wanted to see this movie in the theater opening weekend. He also bought Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy, which I was not expecting, only because I was completely unaware that such a movie existed. Having viewed only the trailer so far, I can assure you all that it appears to be B-movie gold, especially with Jane Fonda in the lead role. Rest assured that I'll give it at least a quick write-up after it is inevitably screened at a pizza night. But I digress.

Catwoman sucks. After seeing and enjoying Elektra, and considering that they pulled in comparable rottentomatoes scores, I thought that Catwoman might have some redeeming features. I was wrong. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, because that honor belongs now and forever to It's Pat (never, NEVER see that movie-in 15 states it's actually legal to murder someone who attempts to show it to you). But Catwoman is bad-plot, costumes, everything. There were a few decent one liners, but only enough to balance out the really bad ones. The acting itself wasn't bad, but that's about all I can say.

But other than the fact that the plot to Precinct 13 has two minor plot holes, as oppsed to 38, what separates it from the bottom of the barrel and makes it pretty damn good? Characters, my friends. Characters. You see, Precinct 13 actually has characters who resonate with the viewer. I'm not saying any of these performances are going to overtake Bogey in Casablanca or Morgan Freeman in Shawshank, but, for the time I was in the theater, the characters actually held my attention. Made me concerned about their ultimate fate (and hoo damn, did a lot of them die! One thing about this movie-it's not afraid to kill people off). And that's what any movie, really, needs to do. Come out with good characters, and even if the plot is predictable or sub-standard, and you can come out with a pretty good flick.

To sum up: Precinct 13: good (as far as action flicks go). Catwoman: bad. It's Pat: very, very bad. Characterization: essential. There'll be a test next week, so I hope you were taking notes.

3 comments:

Joe Kreuser said...

Dustin, you shouldn't worry. First of all, I'm almost certain the statute of limitations on this has expired. And second, it's only legal if you kill someone who is attempting to show you the movie-you need to kill them before they actually succeed, so if falls under the category of self-defense. Either way, you're safe.

Anonymous said...

So, In regards to Barbarella. It rocks. However, one must take the movie within the genre (b sci-fi flick) and year (1968) which it was filmed in into account. Also, one should not be expecting anything other than campy, very campy, and oh-my-god-its-so-campy fun! Additionally, if you have any aversion to sexual kinkiness on-screen you may also want to avoid this movie. Not that anything is shown, but there were plenty of implied actions and a great many not-so-subtle hints.
I plan on watching CatWoman again to confirm that which Joe has already stated. Not that his opinion should be dismissed (quite the contrary), but I would like to confirm (for your benefit) the truly disastrous nature of said film.

Anonymous said...

The previous post can be attributed to Mr. Java C. Fortran. Question & comments can be directed to Dr. D. Retribution.