How to make a Joe-Improved Pizza

It's a classic: the Joe-Improved Pizza. If you've hung out with me when there's a kitchen and requisite ingredients around, you've probably had it. It's always gotten good reviews (so if you bastards were lying, it's your own fault), even though half-truths and semi-slandarous words have occasionally been spoken about the presence of charred carbon remnants where the cheese should be. So I thought I would toss the recipe up here in order to say that even you (yes you, Java) can make this extraordinary delectable delight yourself.

frozen pizza (count based on how many people you're trying to feed)
shredded mozzarella or block cheese
pepperoni
green and red bell peppers
yellow onion
thai chilies
garlic powder
basil leaves

The first step is to identify the type of frozen pizza that works well for you. For me, it's Jack's, but to each their own. Be aware that if you have a rising crust pizza it will take more time for the crust to cook and you may end up singeing the top. Preheating the oven is fine but not necessary. I suggest an arbitrary temperature somewhere in the range of 375-415, regardless of what it says on the pizza box (although definately on the high end with rising crusts). Now, I personally recommend starting with a sausage pizza. Spread the pepperoni to attain the desired coverage. Slice the onion and put on top of the pepperoni. Be sure to leave the rings whole-don't half them. The cut the bell peppers into strips about 1/2" wide and scatter among the onions. The thai chilies should be cut fairly small (maybe 1/4") and don't use more than three unless you really want to fry your mouth (an excellent alternative is to use pepperjack cheese instead). Spread (or grate and spread) the cheese, and feel free to mix in a few different types if you can (mozzarella, chedder and a little parmesean work well together). Then sprinkle the garlic powder and basil leaves over the cheese (I suggest a liberal application of garlic powder). Cook until about half of the mozzarella is brown. Remove, cut and wait a few minutes for it to cool down, because it's too hot right now and you'll burn the roof of your mouth. Then eat.

You may be wondering why I use garlic powder instead of fresh garlic. After several taste tests, I came to the conclusion that you get a more powerful garlic flavor by baking the powder directly into the cheese. Also, you're already chopping up a lot of things-give yourself a break. This is supposed to be easy, damn it!