Crackpots

So now the weather yahoos are saying that we're going to get anywhere from 5-16 inches of snow over the next day or two. This after a week with highs in the 40s. Just when you thought spring was here...

Feelin' Crappy

My lack of posts the last couple days has been due to me feeling under a rather large amount of weather. Hopefully I'll be back up to speed in time to enjoy some of the weekend.

Before I sign off, a big congratulations to Mr. Erik Hanberg, whose theater's first production opened yesterday in Tacoma, WA. For more info check out his blog or The Horatio's website. If you're in the Northwest, check it out.

Watch the Volume, Guys

Heard a pretty funny news story today. Seems a man in Oconomowoc, WI, thought he heard a woman being raped in the apartment above his. He grabbed a sword (yes, a sword), went upstairs, kicked in the door, and demanded to know where the woman under attack was. He forced the guy to lead him around the apartment at swordpoint and open closets and doors where he might have stashed the woman.

However, there was no woman. It seems the neighbor had been watching a porn video with the volume up perhaps a little too loud, and the guy misunderstood the screams he was hearing. The neighbor later played back for the police the part of the DVD that he thought had been misunderstood ("Sir, I think we're going to need to view this again, just to make sure there's no misunderstanding. And you have any kleenex?").

A couple of things stand out here (no, not that). First, the guy said that he never threatened his neighbor with the sword, he only "had the sword extended". I know that I never make the mistake of thinking someone threatening me with a sword when they are, in reality, simply extending it in my general direction.

Second, the guy said he didn't call police because he doesn't have a phone. So that makes him a 39 year old who lives with his mother, doesn't have a phone and keeps a sword readily accessible. Can we get Dr. Phil on the phone, please?

Heat Wave

So Minnesota has gone from deep freeze to Miami-Lite in the space of about 10 days. Sub-zero temps a week ago and now we're looking at multiple days above 40. Totally ridiculous. I've got one more game of broomball tonight that it looks like I'm going to get to play, then I apparently get to break out the shorts and sandals. I hate El Nino winters.

New Look

So this is my blog's new look. I've been thinking about changing it for awhile, and hopefully this is an indication that I'll be posting a little more frequently than in the past few months. Let me know what you think. Positive reaction will justify my course of action, and negative comments will be ignored as the ranting of lunatics (See? You can learn things from this administration).

Words of Wisdom

For the past two years, I've gone to see Garrison Kellior do his Prairie Home Companion show from the State Fair. Both times have been fantastic, particularly the two years ago, when he had a New Orleans blues band perform days after the Katrina mess began (the band had been touring and was caught away from home when the storm hit). I don't know that I've ever seen a crowd so emotionally pumped up for a performance like that.

Last year couldn't match that high, but it did have an excellent insight into the Minnesota Mind with A Lake Wobegon Philosophy. This was printed on the pamphlet they gave out describing the show. As far as I am aware, this is the first time something interesting and worthwhile has actually been printed on one of these things.

A Lake Wobegon Philosophy

1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do this before they do unto you what you don't want them to do. Shame them with goodness. Kill them with kindness. Cut their throats with courtesy.

2. The way to do something is to do it. Persevere. If you want to become the Tallest Boy In The Sixth Grade, stick around, keep at it, and the prize will be yours.

3. Try not to talk about the relationship. And don't refer to it as a relationship. Either it's a friendship or a romance or an illicit affair or you're related.

4. The rules for marriage are the same as the rules for a life raft. No sudden moves. Don't crowd the other person. Keep all thoughts of disaster to yourself. Almost any marriage can be helped simply by having more fun. If necessary, try taking your clothes off.

5. Put a big dish by the door, next to an electric outlet, and when you come home, put your car keys and your billfold in the dish and plug your mobile phone into the outlet to recharge. Keep your extra pairs of glasses in the bowl too. In the time you'll save not looking for these things every day, you'll be able to write War and Peace. Or the Mass in B minor.

6. All tragedy is misunderstood comedy. God is a great humorist who is working with a rather slow audience. Lighten up. Whatever you must do, do it wholeheartedly, joyfully. As you get older, you'll learn how to fake this.

7. The secret of writing is rewriting. The secret of living is to see your mistakes and learn how to either correct them or conceal them.

8. It's nice to dream, but the urge to perform is not in itself an indication of talent.

9. You can't live life all at once so take it one day at a time, and if you need drama, read Dickens. The lust for world domination does not make for the good life. The urge to be No. 1 is a bad urge. Charisma is an illusion and brilliance depends on who's writing the test. Go for the bronze.

10. Life is short and it's getting shorter. On the other hand, never buy cheap shoes.

Mustache Pride

I have never been so proud to be a part of something. The February 11th edition of the Chicago Tribune has published a profile of Carleton's famous Mustache Club, of which I was proudly a member.

I joined the Mustache Club in its second year of existence, and was part of a massive boost in membership over the first year. I am sad to say that I did not join the Club in its first year of membership, but my good friend Andrew Eppig, along with the Club's founder and first President, Hite Geffert (pictured here), convinced me that the Mustache Club was for me. During my membership I not only learned to take pride in my Mustache, I also had the distinct honor to help co-author an article for the Carletonian defending the Club's purpose and existence.

I am thrilled that the Club has not only survived since I left Carleton, but thrived. I've never been so proud.