Cantalopes are funny

If you don't believe me, just read this article. Not only is it frickking hilarious, but it pretty much sums up my attitude toward Barry Bonds, except that my attitude toward Bonds includes the word "dickhead."

Black and White

Just a quick post tonight before I go back to bed (a massive nap got away from me).

Check out this. It's an advance image of the teaser poster for Spider-Man 3, probably the most anticipated comic book movie out there right now. Here's the kicker: it's supposedly a color photo. Rumor is that Spidey will be sporting a version of his famous Black costume.

For anyone who doesn't know, Spidey's black costume (which he found in space-long story, don't ask) turns out to be a somewhat psychotic alien symbiot who tries to get Spidey to kill people and generally go on a rampage. After he ditches it (the symbiot is vunerable to sonic waves), the suit finds another poor sap by the name of Eddie Brock and turns into Venom, who became one of Spidey's deadliest and most popular villians. If Sam Rami is indeed going to do a story with the black costume/Venom, this movie will very likely kick severe ass.

This shot looks great. It's gracing the desktop of my computer right now. The only problem is, it's wrong. Check out this fan art of a classic adaptation of the traditional costume. Now, they both look cool, but come on. There's a reason they call it classic, people!

A new outrage

With South Dakota one signature away from outlawing abortion in order to force the recently recreated Supreme Court to revist the issue, I'm going to start the public outcry against what I'm suggesting we call Activist Legislators. Unike Activist Judges who try and legislate from the bench, forcing our society to accept that all people have the same rights and prevent Bush's God-given right to spy on all of us in the tub, Activist Legislators try to adjudicate from Congress. I fully expect the country's politicians to see the parallel and soon start protesting these lawless individuals.

I could rant for hours about the social ass-backwardness of this country and this administration, but it's 1am, and I'm going to bed (I'll make the one exception to say that it's all Caleb's fault). Check out this editorial in the StarTrib for a good, simple opinion on gay marriage. Oh, and Hanberg, if you're reading this, I'll try and give you a call tomorrow (Monday). Sign up for the damn fantasy baseball league, damnit!

Big news for frisbee Joe

So tonight my frisbee team, TBA, had the much-planned meeting to determine how we wanted to approach the season. There was a lot of talk and relatively little beer consumed, and I was actually surprised by how productive we were. But the super cool news for me is that I was chosen as the third team captain. Last year we worked with two captains, and both those guys were reelected, and I got the third spot. This is the first time that I've been a captain for a team on this level. I was nominated for captain of GOP for my senior year, but didn't get it (out of four nominations, the two guys who were the best choices got the spots, so I was ok with that). But this was somewhat of a surprise, since I hadn't really thought about the possibility of three captains, and if I had I wouldn't have figured on getting the last spot myself. I'm super excited about it, although I think it'll take me a while to get into the captain mindset. An interesting season awaits. Hopefully I won't go mad with power.

Look out, Java!

Ha! I have fixed the damn super-spacing issue that has been haunting me for months! I'm going to put this on my resume and get a job as a IT troubleshooter.

You heard me: Curling fucking Rocks!

It's the sensation that sweeps the Olympics every four years. Curling rules. For reasons why, click here. Also, look for Erik Hanberg in the stands looking post-orgasmic as he witnesses Olympic curling firsthand not once, but twice.

Hanberg! Steal a Gold Medal!

Waves of jealousy go out to Mr. Erik Hanberg, who has got to be leaving soon for Turino, where he will be taking in the Olympics in just a few days. I don't know how he's going to cope, because the last few times he's been here he's called The Grand (the movie theater he runs) somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 or 4 times a minute. I hope he'll be able to relax and enjoy the games, because I don't think he'll be able to do that from Italy.

I think he'll be seeing two Curling matches, a US hockey game, downhill skiing and ski jumping while he's there. Aside from just hanging out and making everyone who knows him sick with envy.

Look out, WTO-Kreuser's coming

So $1100-odd later, I've bought the tickets. Kathreen and I will be in Geneva from March 13-20 visiting Mr. Andrew Eppig, who has promised to show us the sounds, sights and wonders of Geneva, which has some sort of deal with all media agencies that it will be referred to as an "international city". I'm just assuming that last part because whenever I look for info on it that's invariably what comes up.

Anyway, I'm super psyched, as I haven't been out of the country since going to Japan to see my sister in May of '03, and I haven't been out of MN (other than Wisconsin, and that doesn't count) since my annual Potlach/visit Hanberg trip last July.

The best at what he does

You know, with taking a bullet at the end of last season and his plucky trek across the island with the tailies to get back to the camp, I had started to think that maybe Sawyer had lost his edge. Without his "stash" to create conflict over, there just weren't as many clashes between him and people. And with the introduction of queen Bitch Ana-Lucia and the huge, badass Mr. Eko, I kind of thought Sawyer might be getting kicked off the A team. I thought he'd gone soft, getting chummy with Jin and Michael on the way back.

No longer. Holy Shit, that was probably the best written episode of Lost all season. Kathreen and I sat and watched and tried to figure out the con while it was going on-not that it helped any. I think the only time we got ahead of the curve was in figuring out the accomplice. For those of you who aren't watching Lost...start. Right now. Pay whatever money you need to get caught up, because this is the best show on tv. Period. Now the new Sheriff has all the guns, and as he says himself "I'm not a good guy."

Are you sure that was the Seahawks?

My sympathies to all the Seahawk fans out there on losing the Super Bowl. It was odd because it looked like the 'Hawks were channeling the Vikings of the last several years (not this last one, because they sucked). First, they got screwed by the refs. I'm sorry, Roethlisberger did not get the football into the endzone on that dive. His head, yes. The football, no (well, after he had been down for 30 seconds). Also, that was the cheapest offensive pass interference call I've seen since Moss was in town. I know the receiver put his hand on the guy and made it look like a push off, but the amount of force was clearly so negligable that the defender didn't even rock backwards on his feet. Since Roethlisberger's run was on 3rd down, we can call this an 11 point swing (+7 to Seattle for the touchdown, and -4 to Pittsburgh for kicking a field goal instead of getting into the endzone). That ties the game and sends it into overtime, where the championship gets to be decided by a coin toss (yippee!). But it would have at least been exciting.

However, you can't blame it all on the refs. Like the Vikes, the Seahawks compounded the officiating mistakes by making two boneheaded decisions. First, Holmgren's decision not to go for the 4th & inches in the second quater. I know he was on his own 25 or whatever, but it's the biggest game of the year and he should have known his defense couldn't hold Pittsburgh back forever (up until that point they had done a fantastic job). Madden & Michales said Holmgren couldn't risk giving the ball up so close to the goal, that it would swing momentum. But then the Steelers took the ball and drove in for their non-touchdown touchdown. I'm sorry, but 4 & inches (especially the short inches that it was) should be a no-brainer in the NFL, wherever you are on the field. The other boneheadedness came out during the 'Hawks 2-minute drill, when they wasted a ridiculous amount of time trying to get one play off. Hasselbeck audibled through I think the entire playbook, and Holmgren appearently kept calling in new plays. It was a moment worthy of Denny Green, who is widely acknowledged as the worst clock manager on the planet.

So it was half the refs fault and half Seattle's fault. I have to put the Steelers as a distant third in terms of factors that decided the game.

V for Vendetta

So a couple weeks ago I found myself in Borders with a $25 gift card looking for something to buy. The new Get Fuzzy book wasn't out yet, and not only did they have a horrible selection of P.G. Wodehouse novels, but they put them in the "humor writing" sextion next to the "How to Survive a Zombie Attack" books. What the hell is wrong with people? Wodehouse was probably the best comic novelist and one of the great writers of the 20th century. His books do not belong on the same shelf as a book about surviving zombie attacks (not that I have anything against those books, but come on, people!).

But I digress.

Not having found anything that really inspired me, I picked up Alan Moore's V for Vendetta, mostly because I excited about the movie and thought it would be good to read the original text before seeing the adaptation. It hadn't been high on my list of graphic novels I wanted to pick up, but like I said, there was a derth of other choices.

Now, I've heard some excellent things about the movie, particularily that it's true to the source material. I also heard the same thing last year about Sin City, which turned out to be a fantastic movie (brutal, yes, but fantastic). I'm hoping that V for Vendetta turns out similarly: the graphic novel is excellent. Well paced, nuanced, and articulate. It's not quite as sophisticated or inventive as Watchmen, Moore's opus, but his talents are on full display. Although Moore wrote this in a very different political climate (in the 80s, toward end of the cold war), the ideas it raises about freedom and governments should resonate strongly with people in the current climate. If the movie kicks even close to as much ass as the graphic novel, it's going to be a much bigger hit than people are expecting.

The movie comes out March 17th. I'll be there opening night.

Worst Month Ever?

Whenever a winter thaw rolls around, I always get pissed at weathermen who take the stance that warm weather is good and cold weather is bad. No one ever says this, but it's implicit in the way most forecasters speak. Now, I like summer as much as anyone. I like nice, warm sunny days that you can hang out and enjoy. But once it hits Halloween (the anniversary of the famous 1991 blizzard), then it's winter, damnit. There's a line from a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin says "If I was in charge, we'd never see grass between October and May." I'd maybe shorten it to April, but I'm right there with him. Winters should be snowy and cold all the way through. No wishy-washy "oh, it's cold now," and then "ok, now it'll be 40 degrees out" crap.

That's why this January has been so damn horrible. Not only has it been warm, it's been the warmest January since 1846. That's 160 years, and even that's not certain, since it's based on unofficial temperature data that was kept at Fort Snelling. And it hasn't just been warm for January. In terms of degrees above average, this is the warmest month (I think) ever. Totally ridiculous. It's snowed, then melted. Then rained. Then snowed again. Then melted. You get the idea. The total opposite of what winter is supposed to be. And all I've heard all month is forecasters telling me the long term projections show no change in the weather patterns. I want my Alberta Clipper, goddamn it! I want it to snow 3 feet, then deep freeze to 20 below for a week and a half, then get back up to 25 so it can snow again. Stupid weather.

At least January is over now. Tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of the coldest temp ever recorded in MN: -60 in Tower. I remeber that day very clearly, and it was awesome (all the schools in the state were closed by the governor). So maybe the gods of winter will take pity on us and use this anniversary to start getting things back to the way they should be around here. Say, I think I just read a report that said some long-term forecasts were seeing temps drop sometime next week...