Ahh, Slacking

What a weekend. I saw X3 Friday night, got up saturday morning and played frisbee for 3 hours in 90+ degree heat, came home and spent some time with Kathreen, got up Sunday to head over to the folks for an excellent afternoon of grilling and impromtu croquet (damn Java's massive comeback to beat me!). Then on Monday I did nothing. Well, not literally. I took like 2 naps and watched 4 episodes of South Park and had some food and read a bit. Really, it was too hot to do anything else. The whole weekend was massively hot, the hottest weather we've had all year. Because it's in the basement, my apartment can withstand hot days without heating up too much. But string them together and add in the fact that it didn't cool down enough at night, and it starts to cook. Fortuneately it's much better today.

X3: last time I posted I said I was nervous about this flick. After seeing, I can say it's an excellent movie. An excellent movie, but....but what? Well, if you're a comic book fan, the storyline of the Dark Phoenix lacks the scope and dramatic impact of the comics. For those of you who don't know, the Dark Phoenix Saga is still one of the greatest X-Men stories ever told. I highly doubt it would work if it was directly adapted from the comics, but I think it could have been done a little better. Also, I was hoping that after getting massively shortchanged in the first two movies, Cyclops would get some good screen time. Ahh, how wrong I was.

But these are all complaints from a comic book fan. This movie, taken on its own, is actually pretty good. Not as good as X2, but a nice follow up with some excellent action moments. It even has a couple of points where massive ethical dilemmas surface. I didn't feel like they were played out as much as they could have been (well, one wasn't anyway), but it was nice to see them in there. Perhaps more than any other comic book, the X-Men have always been a little more in the grey area when it comes to good vs evil. That's why Xavier and Magneto used to work together: their goals are essentially the same, it's just their methods differ (which, of course, makes all the difference). At a couple of different points in the movie, Magneto shows the level of respect he has for Xavier, which I liked a lot.

I did have a couple of problems with the movie just as a movie, but they're nitpicky at best (legitimate, but nitpicky). I will simply say this is an excellent movie, and when you see it, make sure you stay until the credits are over. Also, anyone who thinks that they aren't making anymore X movies is insane. $120 million over 4 days? Yeah, Hollywood just stops making sequels when the franchise is doing that good. Especially when the last two scenes of the film set up the next one.

I'm Apprehensive

For months what I heard about X-Men: The Last Stand was not good. The main problem seemed to be that Fox executives held a personal grudge against Bryan Singer for leaving the project to do Superman Returns, which led them to decide that they would show him, and that the movie would not only go ahead, it would come out before Singer's damn Superman movie. This led to a rushed production schuedule, which you don't want to do on this sort of movie. It also led to directorial problems, with Brett Ratner (of Rush Hour fame) ultimately getting the nod. Needless to say, Geekdom was not pleased.

So I'm going to the movie in a few hours. What I've heard so far is, fortuneately, not "Sweet Jebus, I'd rather be kicked in the nads than see that again," or even "Brett Ratner was a worse selection than Mario Williams." I've heard mixed-to-semi-positive reviews, but beyond that I've heard that it's a good movie for people unfamiliar with the comics. People familiar with the X-mythos seem to not like the movie so much.

Damn, it sucks to be me.

I'll let you know how it goes.

T-minus Four hours to insanity

Last week, after Lost had ended, my girlfriend Kathreen had the thought that she might not want to be in the same room as me after the season finale tonight. Her emotion was understandable, as I was in the midst of what has become a fairly standard post-Lost rant, generally revolving around me wanting to see the next episode. She reasoned that, as Lost is almost certain to end on an amazing cliffhanger (see the end of season 1), it would most likely produce in me some form of hysterical insanity. I theorized that I would enter some sort of hybernation/catatonic state after the end of the episode, which I will only emerge from sometime in September shortly before the third season premieres. We'll see who was right in a few hours.

Go Legislature, Go!

The Minnesota Legislature passed a bill late last night that will finally build a new, outdoor baseball stadium for the Twins. This is huge, since the Twins have been trying to get this built for the past decade with not-even-close success.

I love the Metrodome's quirks: the massive noise, the 3 inch strips around the dirt areas that make a ground ball do things that induce aneurysms in opposing managers, and, of course, the roof that colored like a baseball and then has round holes cut in the inside layer which helpfully reminds opposing players to keep their eye on the ball, lest it hit them in the head. I also love its history: the Minnesota Twins have never lost a World Series game in the Metrodome, and the last two games of the 1991 Series are indelibly etched in the memories of everyone in Minnesota who cared even a little bit about what was going on.

But the Metrodome is a football stadium, not a baseball stadium. All it takes to realise that is to sit along either the third or first base lines. Your choice is to either look into the outfield, where your seat is pointing, or to end up with a massive twist in your neck after looking toward home plate for 3 hours.

There have been a lot of protests over the new stadium, which is going to cost $522 million. The Twins' owner, Carl Polhad, is covering $130 million of that. The rest is coming from a .015% sales tax on Hennepin county (which covers Minneapolis and the surrounding suburbs, making it the most populous county in the state). This comes to an additional 3 cents on every $20 spent. The Legislature's involvement came in because the tax could not be put in place without a voter referendum, unless the Legislature gave the county an exemption. The Twins knew that referendum would kill the possibility of a new park, for one simple reason: people never vote for taxes. Never. So people who didn't want their tax dollars going toward a new stadium for billionaires (as they saw it) got very mad and protested, saying that if Polhad wanted a new stadium he should pay for it himself (like all sports team owners, he's very rich), and that public money shouldn't be used to support private business like this. Which is of course complete bullshit. Ignoring the obvious historical instances of the Federal government bailing out major corporations (like the airlines), cities routinely attract businesses by offering tax breaks and other incentives. This is just like that, except in this case instead of just creating jobs the city also gets a tourism boost, along with a better chance of hosting the All-Star game and (since the stadium will make the Twins more money which hopefully they will put back onto the field) hopefully the World Series. And like it or not, to be a major metropolitan area you need big league sports teams. This is the cost of keeping those teams. Build it right (unlike the dome, which was rushed and done on the cheap), and you won't have to worry about building another one for 80 years.

I'm pretty tired, so I have no idea if all that made any sort of coherent sense. I hope so. More posts tomorrow.

This message comes to you from Station 5, The Pearl

As I was watching Lost I think I actually felt my brain sprain itself trying to keep track of everything. Not only did Eko and Locke find...something, but the damn show put a Hanso Foundation commerical into the actual commericals right in the middle of the show.

Oh, and why couldn't Libby get two more words out? And is Sawyer not the coolest SOB on that whole island?

Is Baseball the Craziest Sport Ever?

Probably, for the following reason:
My MN Twins kicked some Texas tail today. At the end of the 3rd inning they were up 10-0 and cruising to victory. Carlos Silva, the Twins starting pitcher, ran into a little trouble in the 6th inning and got pulled for a reliever, Francisco Liriano at the beginning of the 7th inning. When Liriano entered the game the score was 11-5. Not a close game. In fact, barring a decision by the Twins coaching staff to require all fielders to replace their gloves with live Halibut for the rest of the game, the Twins were going to win this one. But when I look at the final stat line, I notice something (partially because I have Liriano on one of my fantasy baseball teams, so this affects me). Liriano, after pitching 3 innings during which a 6 run lead was increased to a 10 run lead, was credited with a Save. A stat designed to measure the success of pitchers who pitch in the most high pressure situations, with the game on the line: a single bad pitch and your team could lose instead of win. And Liriano gets one after 3 innings of mop-up duty.

This probably has to rank up there with the lowest-pressure saves ever earned in a ball game. The crazier thing is, someone (a baseball stat professional, that is) could probably take 5 minutes and give me a rundown of the 10 widest margins of victory in games where a save was earned.

What a nutty sport.

Stop Fucking with my mind, JJ Abrams!

Saw M:I:III on Saturday. Very good spy/action flick. Harry's AICN review was extremely accurate when he said it was True Lies without the humor. 'Cause that's what it is. Badass spy stuff with the badass spy consequences (that is, having to deal with Phillip Seymore Hoffman shooting your wife in the head while she's tied up in a chair). Also, this movie has Shaun of the Dead in it (I believe his name is Simon Pegg). He's the tech-buddy who helps TomKat...I mean Ethan Hunt out when he's desperate in Shanghai. But that's not what I'm here to talk about...

So I watched the movie with my friends Carl and Java. And then we sat and watched the credits. And they slowly went by, which I didn't mind because I was still processing the movie. But then they came to the end: you know, the bit where the producers thank people and organizations for helping to make the movie possible instead of paying them.

But one thing stood out. I don't know why I saw it, but the last organization thanked on the list was The Hanso Foundation. I said to myself, that sounds familiar. Then my brain clicked into gear and I began to curse JJ Abrams because he's a bastard. Anyone who's seen season 2 of Lost knows that the Hanso Foundation is behind the Dharma Initiative, the big mystery of season 2 (like the Smoke monster was the mystery of season 1). But seeing that on the screen just about blew my mind. Why do you torture me, JJ Abrams! Does the Hanso Foundation really have anything to do with M:I:III? Could all JJ Abrams projects be connected? Will Kirk and Spock be reveiled to be descendents of Jack and Kate? What will happen next?!

Bonjour, M. Bond

Mr. Hanberg recently posted the new 007 French teaser. For those of you (like me) who don't speak French, and find it odd for Mr. Bond to be speaking it, go here for the English version. Don't know why it's not getting more attention-I think it looks pretty good. I won't pass judgement on Daniel Craig yet, but I will say if I had had the casting reigns, Clive Owen would have gotten strong consideration.

The Shocker!

Amazing end of Lost tonight. Left me speechless. Absolutely couldn't believe it. I heard nothing about this. Nothing. Best show on tv, hands down. Anyone who says otherwise has been eating Marigold seeds. Which appearently is gaining popularity (again-first time was in the 70s, when methodical hippies appearently tried every substance on earth to see if it would make them high) amoung high school students. But that's neither here nor there. The cliffhanger at the end of Lost's first season was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen-the best since the famous TNG Borg cliffhanger at the end of season 3. If there are three episodes left after this one, I shudder to think what we're in for.

It's a Plane

I watch two tv shows regularly on tv: Lost, the greatest hourlong drama I've ever seen, and Smallville, which follows Clark Kent as he grows up on the farm. It's not the greatest show ever (see previous sentence), but I'm a sucker for superpowers and Smallville is actually a pretty quality show most of the time. That said, there's nothing like seeing the big man on the big screen. I'm psyched for Superman Returns, and even more so now that the full length trailer came out today. I've watched it three times so far, and I like what I see. A lot of comic book fans hold up the original Richard Donner Superman as one of the better comic book movies ever made. I feel this to be total crap, as the movie is, in my opinion, almost total crap. The exception is any scene with Christopher Reeve in either persona (although he's better as Clark), which is good because that means he saves a good part of the movie. But any movie that has the cheesiest spoken-word-poem-voiceover ever conceived of by man or god gets a black mark in my book. Hopefully, Bryan Singer is more intelligent than that. He did an excellent job with the X-movies, so I think he knows what he's doing.

Quick! Go see that trailer!

This one's for you, Java

For those of you who know him, Java Fortran is a cool guy. He does, however, have strange predilections when it comes to pizza toppings. This one's for Java.

PS I hope I don't get sued for posting this image. R, TM and all rights reserved by the dude who made it.

Best Captain Ever?

So how did my Ultimate team, TBA, fair in its first tourney of the season two weekends ago at GAC?

Well, we went 4-2, winning the four games against the teams we were clearly better than, and losing the two games we played against teams that were at our competitive level. But we did have some positive signs that we are starting to gel as a team, which is good.

But more importantly, at my first tournament as captain, the team became famous. That's right, the literary giant that is the Mankato Free Press deigned to recognize us in print. I take full credit by way of a very simple formula.

Last year: Joe not captain. Articles written about TBA=0.
This year: Joe is captain. Articles written about TBA=1.

I don't think you need a math degree to see that that formula makes a lot of sense. As if that wasn't enough, we were also on TV.

Certainly puts me in the running for captain of the year, doesn't it?

Quote of the Day

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens."
-Gimli Gloin's son.

"Maybe, but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall."
-Elrond Halfelven

Mr. Twig is Fucking Weak

Just finished watching the Chef Aid episode of South Park in the second season, when Mr. Garrison finally gets rid of Mr. Twig after Mr. Hat visciously attacks him (Mr. Twig, that is). Like the boys, I'm psyched to have Mr. Hat back, because Mr. Twig did indeed suck ass.

In answer to your question, no, I haven't gone insane.

Dickensian Twist

I first heard about this from Mr. Hanberg. Seems David Copperfield and two of his assistants got robbed by some teenagers with guns (aren't they cute?). Erik seemed to think that the part where Copperfield pulled a little slight-of-hand was a nice bit of propaganda, but ultimately bullshit.

I have to agree with you, Erik. You're a little cynical. Especially that line about how Copperfield should have made their guns disappear instead of just hiding his wallet.

First of all, I don't know what David Copperfield looks like. If I'm a punk kid with a gun looking to rob someone in West Palm Beach, all I see is a rich looking dude with two hot chicks. Second, while I can't comment on Copperfield's ability as a magician, I have to imagine that he's pretty damn good when it comes to the easy stuff, like making it look like you've got nothing while you stick a dove in a guy's ear to pull out later. Third, good magicians can make people who are watching closely miss what's going on. Again, if I'm a kid mugging some guy in what sounds like a pretty populated area, I'm nervous, twitchy, and eager to take the $500 and 200 Candyland dollars (ie Euros) and get the hell out of there. I'm not exactly conducting a thorough search. Fourth, "Copperfield read the license plate number of the car to an assistant while she called 911". I'm guessing this was accomplished with his cell phone, which he was able to hide from the muggers. The kids are in jail now, by the way.

So I'm guessing that David was finally able to put his skills to good use. I mean, all he was able to do until now was stupid tricks that netted him millions of dollars and supermodels. Now he's actually done something worthwhile.

Tournament!

First ultimate tourney is tomorrow and Sunday at GAC. I expect it to look like this. I'll be the guy holding the disc, thank you very much.

Doyle's

Hanberg, I'm jealous. And if I find Magner's, I'll try it immediately. Otherwise it might have to wait until my annual Washington trip in July.

Cool News

When it comes to movies, I listen to four sources. First, my friends, since I have a decent sense of what sort of movies they like, and I can discern from conversation whether or not I'd like the film. Second, Rotten Tomatoes, because I think it's a good (although not perfect) barometer of a movie. The last two are the only two critics I really listen to. The first (or third by the first method of counting) is Peter Travers of Rolling Stone, although if I already want to see a movie I generally don't read his full review, since he usually gives away more spoilers than I like. The last is Harry Knowles of AICN. I don't have the breath of movie experience that he does, but I've found that a thumbs up from him is a pretty good indication that I'm going to enjoy a movie.

I am therefore understandably new excited about MI: 3. It was reviewed by Harry a few days ago, ago and received an ethusiastic endorsement. Harry compared it to True Lies, which to me is, along with The Rock, one of the best action/comedies to come out in the last 10 years. Now MI: 3 is the directorial debut of J.J. Abrams, the creator of Alias and Lost, the later being the best show on tv. So we know the director has some serious skills. Harry compared MI: 3 to True Lies because, as he said, "Had scene after scene [of True Lies] not been hit with jokes throughout... well, it would have been amazing [as a serious spy flick]. It would have been... Mission Impossible 3." By the way, those ellipses are his, not mine.

So now, where I was merely interested in seeing MI: 3, since the first two were either headache-inducing or vapidly soulless, I am now officially excited.

And today, I got more officially excited. Not about MI: 3, but about Star Trek. Because the next movie has been announced for 2008. And directing will be none other than the same J.J. Abrams. And who will the movie feature, you ask? There's no current Trek series. The TNG crew is getting older and don't fit into their uniforms as well as they used to (as we saw in the Enterprise finale). No, instead JJ will get the reins on a couple of guys named Kirk and Spock, and will detail their meeting at Starfleet Academy and their first space mission. Recasting the two seminal characters of classic Trek will be tricky, but if I was going to put anyone in charge, it'd be the guys who produce Lost (because, at this point, I'm ready to put them in charge of just about everything). And how much do you want to bet we get to see Nimoy and Shatner in space garb one more time?

Just one more reason why Lost is the greatest show ever: it gets its incredibly talented creators jobs like this.

Humpty Dumpty

When I was doing draft research for fantasy baseball, I heard a lot of hype about Felix Hernandez, the Mariners' 20 year old phenom. But I didn't read anything quite as funny as this. For those of you who don't know, pitching in major league baseball is pretty damn strenuous, and some teams (coughCUBScough) have had serious problems with their young pitching stars getting seriously and continuously injured. But it's still fricking hilarious. Again, go here.

In my defense

I'm playing in three fantasy baseball teams this year. In the last three days, I've started a total of 3 A's pitchers over my three teams (Dan Haren twice and Joe Blanton once). The A's, of course, were playing the Twins for the last three games. Now, in my defense, the A's had just pitched an excellent series against the Mariners, and had been playing well in general. The Twins, on the other hand, had been hitting the ball as if they were using week-old carp instead of bats. I was hoping the Twinkies would snap out of it, and maybe take 2 of 3. But I didn't expect them to score a lot of runs: I expected the Twins pitching to wake up, hold the A's to at most 3 runs, and the Twins would win by a run or two.

Now, of course, Haren and Blanton's stat lines are killing my pitching stats this week, because they both got hammered. Big time. To the tune of 7 earned runs in 6 innings. That's not the sort of thing that's friendly to your ERA, people.

So naturally I'm ecstatic that the Twins swept the A's. I just wish I had guessed that they were going to do it in such convincing fashion. Let's hope they can keep it up with the fucking Yankees in town this weekend.